Dating An Introvert – Whether you are in the category of an introvert, extrovert, or in between, everyone can benefit from some alone-time occasionally. However, if you enjoy being alone or find being around crowds very draining, then you are likely to be an introvert. This does not mean introverts don’t want to date or find love.
Dating an introvert is not different from dating any other person. There are no special skills or characteristics that will make it work. All relationships have their ups and downs. Anytime you decide to get intimate with someone, you are definitely going to face some challenges. It is just a question of what kind of challenges your particular combination of personalities and temperaments will face.
If you are in a relationship with an introvert, you may find it a bit difficult to understand them and their preferences, especially if you are the opposite and you both are in the early stages of dating. To extroverts, those who are introverted may be incomprehensible.
While extroverts enjoy large gatherings and are outgoing as well as outspoken, introverts may prefer quiet and small gatherings with very close friends and loved ones. In fact, many of the things introverts do make no sense to extroverts.
However, most of the challenges faced by dating an introvert are not difficult to resolve. Contrary to the general belief that an extrovert must make a lot of sacrifices dating an introvert, the relationship actually be rather rewarding.
It is very easy to misinterpret the introverts’ need for some space as an indicator that they don’t just like you that much. In order to avoid making false assumptions, it is necessary to know what makes an introvert happy or sad when it comes to relationships. Here are the things you need to know if you are dating an introvert.
1. They Are Not Too Social
Extroverts are not extremely social. This doesn’t mean that they are anti-social. They just happen to have the time when they are socially stimulated, which depends majorly on their state of mind at that point in time. However, introverts always have their fun, carefree side. It is just that they are only comfortable showing that side of them to people they are very close to.
2. They Like To Take Things Easy
Introverts are most comfortable on their own and in their space, not like extroverts who enjoy being up and about. They think twice about everything they do and prefer to take things slowly. This is why it is important for their partners their personalities very well and try to empathize with them rather than criticize them. They need time, I mean a lot of it, to get comfortable with new people, situations, and environments and that is how they will always be.
3. Their Thoughts About Flirting is Different
If you expect the generally accepted way of romantic expressions from them, you are likely to get disappointed. Introverts’ idea of flirting is usually very different from the way extroverts see it. While extroverts are able to express their feelings freely without being shy or ashamed, introverts are very shy about being vocal or too expressive. So they do it in a more subtle manner. For instance, they may choose to express their feelings towards you by gazing at you for a long time with some sexy eyes.
Introverts rarely make compliments. Even though they may appreciate you or something about you, it is very rare to have them voice it out because it is just unnatural to them to say it aloud except occasionally when they are compelled to.
4. They Express Love Differently
Introverts’ expressions of love are just different. Don’t expect them to participate in doing wild and crazy things with you in public, or organize a public proposal shows. In fact, they may not like it if you show them all those PDAs (Public Display of Affection). It just doesn’t flow with their personalities.
They usually like to hide their show of love in hidden gestures such as kissing your forehead, calling often to check up on you, bringing you food at work, etc. They can only go overboard when they are overly excited.
5. They Prefer Quality Time with Loved Ones
Introverts like to think things through thoroughly before they go take action. They do not like to do things based impulsively. Most times, they love to spend with their loved ones and have some deep and meaningful conversations instead of going out on a date. They just love to understand their partners well and connect with them on a deeper level.
6. They Value Time Alone
It is usually difficult for extroverts to understand why someone who claims to be in love with them will be asking for time to be alone and not with them. Unfortunately, all introverts value some alone time and you just have to let them be at such times.
It is time for them to breathe some fresh air and organize their thoughts. So, just give them that luxury of time and see how wonderful it works in your relationship.
7. They Dislike Being The Center of Attention
Introverts hate to be the center of attention, especially among a crowd of people they are not close to or comfortable around. As a result, actions like that, even if it is meant well, can be offensive to them. For instance, if you plan a surprise birthday party or proposal for your partner and invite a large crowd, they may get angry.
What’s an extrovert may term a perfect celebration may not be what an introvert would like. So, whenever your want to plan something big or a surprise for your introverted partner, always take into consideration this aspect of them.
8. They Are Sapiosexual (Attracted to Intelligent People)
Introverts are naturally extremely selective. They can be picky even when choosing friends, and pickier when it comes to choosing a partner. They may still get attracted to people of opposite personalities.
What really attracts them is boldness, strength, and intelligence. They usually fall for witty people with a high intellect, whether extroverted or not.
9. Their Express True Love
While extroverts love people who express their feelings all the time and even in public, introverts don’t do so. This makes extroverts sometimes doubt if their introverted partners truly loved them as they hardly show it the way the extroverts expect them to. At the early stage of an introvert’s relationship with an extrovert, the extroverted partner may question the sincerity and genuineness of the love of their partner towards them.
At such times, it is important for the doubting partner to remind themselves their introverted partners are still with them because they want to. If they don’t want you, they will walk away. Most times, introverts feel more intense affection than they are willing to let out or disclose. They will show you through some of their actions so just learn to identify the hints.
10. They Do Not Open Up Easily
An Introvert has many sides and you may not get to know the real person within a short time. They like to invest more time in knowing their partners than revealing things about themselves. Asides from that, they need time to get very comfortable and secure around you before they can begin to reveal they’re true nature.
Don’t fret if your introverted partner is not sharing things with you right from the beginning. That time will come. You just have to be patient. With time, your partner will learn to trust you and open up to you.
11. They Get Easily Scared
Of a truth, introverts fear moving forward in a relationship. They like to take things slowly so if the pace at which the relationship is going is too fast for them, they may withdraw suddenly. You require a lot of patience and understanding with them if you really want to enjoy the relationship. The result of this is usually great and worth the effort.
Introverts are wonderful people to be with. You will be amazed at the kind of stuff they are made of by the time they start opening up and feeling free around you. Just nurture your relationship with your introverted partner slowly, patiently, and with understanding, especially during that initial phase, and you will wonder at how it transforms into something worth it that you can rely on. Once your partner gets comfortable and addicted to you, they will become more romantic and understanding than you.