Being in a committed relationship is not easy. It becomes a lot more complicated when the relationship gets deep and is heading towards marriage. Marriage, as we know, is a lifetime commitment and so before going into it, you need to know everything about your partner to enable a smooth marriage. At this point, there are so many questions you need to ask your partner and ensure he/she tells you the truth. Also, never take any response for granted as this will go a long way when you finally tie the knot.
Marriage is a big step in a relationship. It shows the love & commitment you have for each other. However, love is never enough. Questions like children, dealing with conflicts, beliefs, finances, extended family, etc.
Never assume that you know everything about each other. There are a lot of things you should talk about with your partner but most times you end up neglecting them based on assumptions until the walk down the aisle is long forgotten.
Asking the right questions before marriage can save you some future conflicts or, at least, prepare you to effectively resolve them when they eventually arise.
As mentioned earlier, the questions to ask are numerous but, in this article, we will be concentrating on 21 vital questions that must be asked by every intending couple.
1. What is Your Genotype?
You have to know each other’s genotype to know if you are both compatible or not.
2. Do You Want Kids?
You need to know your partner’s view about having children. If he wants them, ask how many. If he doesn’t, ask why and be sure you agree with him on this.
3. Are You Particular About The Sexes of Your Children?
Some partners, especially most men, believe in having a male child at all cost. So you should know if your partner is okay with whatever the sexes of your children may be or whether he is the type that likes to have a particular sex.
4. What if We Are Not Able to Have Biological Children?
You need to know your partner’s view on infertility and how they can handle it if you encounter it along the line.
5. How Will You Handle it if We Drift Apart?
Sometimes, marriage, work, kids, and life, in general, can distract you from the intimate part of being a couple at times. How will your partner handle such changes and pressures?
6. What Are Your Sexual Expectations?
Know what your partner expects of you sexually. It is very important.
7. How Would You Get Your Sexual Needs Met if I am Not Meeting Them?
This will help you know how your partner intends to get sexual satisfaction if you are not meeting up to his expectations.
8. Would You be Willing to Go For Marriage Counseling If we Were Having Marital Problems?
You need to know how your partner will respond to marital crisis/differences when it arises. Will he be willing to try marital counseling to fix the issues?
9. If There is A Disagreement Between me And Your Family, Whose Side Would You Take?
This will help you know how much your husband values you over his family and how diplomatic he can be when you have misunderstandings with his family.
10. Would You be Willing to Go For Marriage Counseling If we Were Having Marital Problems?
You need to know how your partner will respond to marital crisis/differences when it arises. Will he be willing to try marital counseling to fix the issues?
11. If There is A Disagreement Between me And Your Family, Whose Side Would You Take?
This will help you know how much your husband values you over his family and how diplomatic he can be when you have misunderstandings with his family.
12. Would You Ever Consider Divorce?
With this, you would know your partner’s view on divorce and on what grounds he could consider it.
13. What Are Your Views on Infidelity?
This is another very important question. You need to know how your partner feels about cheating.
14. What’s More Important, Work or Family?
Does your partner value family overwork or work over family? You need to know.
15. What Are Your Views on Birth Control?
Will your partner be comfortable if you decide to go for family planning after a certain number of children?
16. Do You Expect me to Change in Certain Areas?
Find out if there are certain things he wants you to change about yourself and if they are things you are willing to sacrifice for him.
17. What Are Some of Your Financial Goals?
Very crucial. You need to know what his future plans are concerning his finances.
18. Do You Have Significant Debts?
Another very important question. If your partner has any debts he is settling, he needs to open up to you before the marriage.
19. How Important is Physical Appearance to You?
When you get married, a lot of changes might begin to happen to your body probably due to childbirth, aging, etc. This question is, therefore, very essential to enable you to know how your partner will react to those changes and whether you have to try as much as possible to keep up with your physical appearance.
20. Are There Some Things That You And I Are Not Prepared to Give up in The Marriage?
What are those things both of you are not willing to give up even after the marriage. You need to establish that fact before you tie the knot so that it won’t become an issue later.
In conclusion, your partner’s answers to these questions should be carefully considered by you. If the answers make you feel triggered, uncomfortable, or unsettled, don’t take them for granted. Talk it through and reach an agreement before you enter into the marriage.
